Winter Loverland
by Anti Darth Ani
Summary: Sakura, Li, Eli, and Madison face winter break, but none of them are ready for what waits for them. Like the fact that Li's mother's been keeping a very important secret from him that can break apart his relationship with Sakura.
1. What I Really Think

Winter Loverland  
  
Chapter 1 What I Really Think  
  
This is the sequel to America and the Cards. However, this takes place in the coming winter after America and the Cards. And everyone is still 16.  
  
**********  
  
Sakura  
  
I watched the snow fall to the ground, where mounds of it were starting to collect. It was early December and I was surprised at how the weather had changed so fast. It usually didn't start to snow until mid-January. It all seemed so peaceful. The romantic weather, my friends and I just sitting and eating, not a care in the world. I bit into my sandwich and smiled, watching Eli and Madison debate over a subject that wasn't even important. It amazed me how Madison cared so much about Eli, and yet as I sat there, I watched her yell at him about politics and how socialism would never work.  
  
Li dropped his backpack down beside me and sat on his knees, wrapping his arms around my waist from behind me. I couldn't help but sigh as his kissed my neck softly. "So what are they arguing about this time?" he asked sarcastically, but I knew he thought it was funny. He hated not being able to tease Eli, but Li loved it when others did it for him.  
  
I leaned back and rested my head in the crook of Li shoulder. It felt as if I had just confessed to him about my true feelings for him. It was hard to imagine that it had already been six months. But time didn't matter to me. We were finally together and that was what counted.  
  
I tilted my head up to see Li's face and I smiled when I realized that he was staring back at me. I wanted to whisper to him, to tell him I loved him all over again, but I settled with a short kiss he placed on my mouth.  
  
"Why don't you guys get a room already?" Eli questioned, raising an eyebrow. Madison giggled softly when she noticed us.  
  
I sighed as Li quickly pulled away from me, blushing brightly. I loved Madison and Eli, I truly did. They were the best friends a teenage girl trying to capture cards could have, but sometimes I just wanted to throw them off a roof. It was the one problem with being back in Reedington - there was no privacy what so ever. True, there wasn't much privacy in America while we were there either, but I didn't need it then. I had no use for privacy. But I just couldn't get enough of Li and I wasn't getting any at all. Every time we came close to 'having a moment', Eli or Madison would show up. Or worse, Tori. Tori had only caught us kissing once, but once was enough for a lifetime with Tori.  
  
Li had walked me home from school and we were standing by my front door. I went in for one, innocent little kiss and the front door opened so fast, it flew against the wall and the door handle ended up going through the wall. Tori wasn't happy with me, and Dad wasn't happy with either of us.  
  
Madison sat down next to me and Eli sat down on the other side. Things were different between Madison and Eli as well, but I don't think it was for the better. Whenever they talked, they argued. And most of the time it was about the dumbest issues. Madison had told me how she felt about Eli, but she just couldn't tell him herself. As I glanced at Madison, a knot formed in my throat. She was giving me that look of jealousy - the one she gave me whenever I was with Li. She hated me now because I had gotten what I wanted and she hadn't.  
  
I pulled my green jacket tighter around me. I hated to ugly thing, but Madison had insisted that I needed new clothes. She informed me that there was a new style this winter and so she had made me a whole new wardrobe. My green jacket wasn't my favorite item from it. However, I did favor the red, long sleeved turtle neck and silver bellbottoms that matched it. I had thrown on some silver mittens and red hair bows that I had found in the back of my closet. But the biggest difference in me was my hair. I had started to grow it out, so I didn't use the same old hairstyle I had always had. I usually let it hang in a ponytail or wore it loose. The worst part was the color.  
  
Tori has convinced me to dye it blond. At first I wouldn't let him near me, but over the fall, I realized how much I was like my ten-year-old self. And I didn't want to be like that anymore. So by the end of October, I was a bleached blond with highlights. I must admit that it wasn't as bad as I thought it would be. It sure had scared the crap out of Li.  
  
"Are you feeling OK?" Li whispered in my ear. I opened my eyes, which I didn't remember closing. That was another problem I was dealing with. Frequently, I had started to space off at random times during the day about nothing. A few of those times I couldn't even remember where I was or what I was doing.  
  
I peered down into the mug of hot chocolate I was holding in my hand. I sipped it softly and set it back down on the grass. "Sure, I'm fine. I just spaced off for a minute, I guess," I finally answered. I could sense that Li was worried about me. At first, I knew he thought that mine absent-mindedness belonged to my new development of blond hair, but Li was a smart guy and he was starting to realize that something wasn't quite right. If only I knew what it was.  
  
Li pushed a few strands of my hair behind my ear. "Are you sure everything's all right?" Li glanced at Madison and Eli, who were eating away in silence. He dropped his voice a decibel, "I know something's wrong, Sakura, and I just wish you would share with me what it is."  
  
"I'm not quite sure I know what you're talking about, Li. I'm fine. I just wish I wasn't here at school. I guess I wish I was somewhere else, you know. Like ice skating, but not here, having my last lunch at school until 'New Years'," I sighed.  
  
"Well then let's go ice skating," Li told me.  
  
I smiled, "Nah. We couldn't do that. I still have two more classes before I can leave campus and then I need to get my homework done with. You know how long it takes me to do algebra."  
  
Li chuckled, "That I do," he agreed, "but you'll have all of break to do your homework. After school, we're going to go ice skating. Now I don't want another argument out of you because I'm not changing my mind."  
  
I fixed a pouting looking on my face, "Well, I guess I'll have to if you're going to make me."  
  
I noticed out of the corner of my eye that Madison was rolling her eyes at me. She stood up and without even staying good-bye, she stormed off toward the main building of our high school. Eli soon followed her, finally leaving me alone with Li.  
  
Li realized what that meant, too. Before I had a chance to say a word, his mouth was on mine. I twisted myself around in his lap, making it easier for me to kiss him. Before I had the chance to get my tongue in his mouth, the lunch bell started to ring. I groaned mentally and stood up, slinging my backpack over my shoulder. Li slipped his hand in mine and we briskly walked to our afternoon classes.  
  
Li  
  
The last bell of the day rang. Chairs scratched against the floor as thirty students jumped up from their desks and raced out the classroom door. I stayed behind and waited for Sakura to gather up her belongs. As I walked toward her desk, she looked up and smiled at me. I practically froze in my steps. It was amazing how a girl could make me feel the way I did. But as I sat down on the corner of her desk and watched her shove a load of crap into her backpack, it hit me that Sakura wasn't just a girl. She wasn't a girl at all. She was sixteen, and she had saved the world a dozen times or more. Sakura was a goddess. I'm just thankful Eli never heard me say that. He would have been making one remark after another. Sakura flung her backpack over her shoulder and slipped her hand in mine. As she kissed my cheek, I nearly blushed all over again. There was only one thing I needed to admit, and that was the fact that I loved her.  
  
We didn't say a word to each other until we had reached her car. For her sixteenth birthday, her father had given her Tori's old car, which wasn't that old to begin with. It was a red sports convertible that any self respecting teenager who knew how to drive would die for. I slid into the passenger's side and closed the door. Sakura had already shut her door and managed to toss her backpack into the backseat. As soon as I had sat down, Sakura had already turned to face me. And I was ready for it. I quickly wrapped my arms around her waist and pulled her into my lap. My mouth found hers quickly and I began to feel as if I had died and gone to heaven, that's how good she made me feel.  
  
But the truth was that I wasn't in heaven at all. I was boiling in a kettle in hell. The hardest part was the fact that I hadn't told Sakura yet. Whenever I tried to bring myself to tell her, she always looked at me with those emerald eyes of hers and I could bare it. As softly as I could, I pulled away from Sakura. "We'd better get going or the skating rink in going to close." Now, we both knew that that was a bunch of BS. The skating rink didn't close until midnight on Fridays, but I just couldn't stand being so close to her. And she knew it.  
  
Sakura climbed back over into her seat and pulled her seat belt on. As she revved the engine, I noticed that her hands were shaking. Oh God, I thought, I've just made it worse. She didn't say a word to me as she drove. At one point, I couldn't take it any longer, so I wrapped my fingers around hers, which had a death grip on the stick. The car came to a screeching halt soon afterwards and then it just sat there, idle.  
  
"Truth?" she asked softly. It was our 'thing' that we did. When one of us wasn't comfortable, we'd say truth and just spit out what was bothering us. I tucked her hair behind her ear. "Yeah, truth," I assured her, although a part of me knew that I wasn't going to like the answer.  
  
"I wish you wouldn't lie to me," she said quickly, turning off the engine and pulling her key out of the ignition. She rested them on the dashboard and then shifted to face me. "I know you're keeping a secret from me, and it's killing me that you won't tell me what it is!"  
  
I didn't know what the heck I was supposed to do. I cupped her face in my hand and rubbed her check softly. I could never forget the way her skin felt. So soft and clean. It drove me crazy that I cared about something like that. But what was even worse was the sole fact that the truth even mattered. Four years ago, I would not have given one glance to the decision I was going to make. But ever since I had met Sakura, things had been different. Maybe in a good way and maybe not.  
  
Sakura crawled back into my lap and wrapped her arms around my neck, "I understand how protective you are. You've always been that way and I'd never try to change you, but don't you realize how much it hurts me? It's like you've got a cloud surrounding you so it makes it hard for me to see the real you anymore."  
  
"It's not like you've been completely honest with me, Sakura," I pointed out. "I know something's wrong. You keep spacing out and not remembering anything. That freaks me out, but I'm not trying to force you to tell me."  
  
Sakura let out a sigh in aggravation. She put her face closer to mine, so that our noses touch, "I know how hard it is for you to show affection, Li, don't think that I don't see it. During lunch, you looked like a tomato when Eli made that crude remark. I notice these things about you, Li," she kissed me softly, "but I want to know the truth."  
  
I sighed and pulled her against me. Sakura turned so that the curve of her back fit exactly into my chest. I kissed the top of her head before resting my chin of her head. "My mother called me last night and requested my attendance in Hong Kong for the break. Furthermore, she told me she had some exciting news she couldn't wait to tell me about, but she wouldn't tell me over the phone."  
  
I heard Sakura's breath catch in her throat. "But we were going to spend winter break together," she choked out. "We were going to spend it alone."  
  
I chuckled and kissed her cheek, resting my head neck to hers. "I thought you'd be upset."  
  
Sakura shook her head and rested her hand on mine, "I'm not upset. A little surprised, sure who wouldn't be, but I'm not upset. I am a little disappointed, however." She shivered slightly, so I rubbed one of my hands up and down her arm. "I did have an alternative though."  
  
"And what would that be?" she asked, raising an eyebrow.  
  
"You could come with me. My sisters won't be there, so it'll only be my mother and me. I'm sure she'd love to have you come. After all," I told her, nibbling on her ear, "she always takes an interest in my interest."  
  
Sakura made a quick leap back into her seat. "You know I can't do that," she insisted. "The reason you're going is to be with your mother - your family. I can't just leave for two weeks. My dad needs me and so does Tori."  
  
"Then you can't really blame me for wanting to go home for Christmas," I reminded her.  
  
Sakura clutched the steering wheel, "Maybe you should get out of the car now. I don't really feel like ice skating anymore."  
  
"Sakura, please don't be like this. You know that I wanted to be with you for winter break. But right now, I just don't think that it's the best thing. My mother needs me right now and I have to be there for her. If you really needed me, you know I'd stay. But you don't right now."  
  
"Just get out of the damn car!" She snapped at me. I was taken back by her choice of words. She never cussed and it surprised me. I had always been the one with the glares that stopped you in your place, but the vibe I was getting from Sakura made me want to run far, far away. I fumbled with the door handle and waited for her to unlock the door. By the time I got out of the car, Sakura had the engine on and the car was ready to back out of the parking space it was in. As I got out, I noticed that her eyes were shinning with tears.  
  
Sakura  
  
I knew is wasn't smart to be driving while crying. My sight was blurred and it was hard to distinguish different shapes. But I just had to get away from him. I had waited and waited for our time together. We had talked and talked about what we wanted to do. We had made plans, for Christ's sake and by the time one phone call was over, they were gone. Just like him.  
  
The car jerked up into the driveway. I slammed on the breaks and got out of the car. I couldn't stand being in it. Just the image of us together was hard to bare. What if I didn't get to see him for two weeks? I didn't think I could manage it. I flung the door open and slammed it shut behind me. I needed to make all the noise I could to block out his voice. It was taunting me, the chance to truly be with him so close, but I just never managed to reach it. I threw the keys as hard as I could across the living room and out of nowhere Tori caught him. I was sure it hurt a bit, but he didn't show it.  
  
"Hey Monster, what's eating at you?" he asked me.  
  
I stormed up the stairs, "I don't want to think about it," I yelled back down as I made my way to my room. I tore off my jacket and shoved it into the closet. I took off my mittens and hat and tossed them onto my dresser. Then I fell back onto my bed and let all my frustration out. Tears slid down my cheeks. The occasional few reached my lips and I could taste the saltiness of them. But none of that even mattered to me. Nothing seemed to matter to me then. I just wanted to curl up in a little ball and die.  
  
Tori came marching in my room and sat down on the end of my bed, running a hand through my hair. "If that brat did anything to you at all," he swore to himself. I sighed and turned over, facing away from him. "He's not a brat. He's a lot of nasty little names right now, but brat isn't one of them." I sat up and ran my own hands through my hair. "I just don't understand how he could decide on this without a fight. It's Hong Kong! For two weeks! I thought he cared about me, but obviously I was wrong. If he did, he wouldn't just leave me. Not with everything we had planned."  
  
"OK, Sakura, I have no idea what you could possibly be talking about. You know I've never been good friends with Li. Actually, I've never been friends with Li. I never gave him a chance because he was the bad guy, trying to take my dear sister away from me and my father. He hurt you and I understand that. Li isn't the kind of guy you can spend your life with, Sakura. You know that as well as I do, even if you aren't the one to admit it," Tori told me, putting an arm around my shoulders for support.  
  
"God, I know that. I just can't believe it, though. I love him, Tori. No matter how many names you call him, no matter how many times you argue with him, and no matter how many times he breaks my heart, I still love him. And I hate that. But I do. This thing that we feel for each other can't be changed by human emotions. There's a bond I feel between us and so what if things don't always work out as I planned them? I still have him."  
  
"Do you really, Sakura?" Tori asked me, which scared me a bit. "I mean, face it Squirt. The guys going back to Hong Kong, on the other side of the sea, to visit family. You don't have him right now. Right now, you have a bunch of tears and red, puffy eyes. You heart aches and I'm sure your head does too. You can't trust him, Sakura. And that's not your fault. Sometimes things don't work out as you want them to. Sometimes they get better, even though you have to suffer a while to get there."  
  
"So what are you getting at?" I asked, getting up off the bed to grab a tissue and blow my nose. "That I just have to stick through it no matter what and then things between Li and me will get better?"  
  
Tori shook his head, "That's not what I'm trying to say. I'm trying to say that maybe if you just leave him and forget about him, it might hurt for a while, but then you'll finally be able to meet someone new who can be there for you and make you happy."  
  
I wanted to cry all over again. I tossed the tissue and stood by the door, holding it open. "I can't forget about him. Things may not be perfect between us right now, but I've waited four years for this 'relationship' with Li and I can't give up on him yet. I need him right now. I won't be able to be without him right now."  
  
"You can't stay like this, Sakura. It's not healthy. You need to learn to live on your own two feet. You shouldn't need Li for every little thing. And what's this whole thing about, anyways? I know you Sakura, and I know you aren't just upset about Li dumping all your plans. You want to know what I really think? I think it's the fact that he's going to spend Christmas with his mother. I think that you are jealous that he is still able to be with his family for the holidays."  
  
"FINE!" I yelled. "Fine, you caught me! I hate my boyfriend because he has a mother and mine's been dead for almost 13 years! I hate him because he's leaving me to visit her. I hate him because the only reason he came here in the first place was because his mother made him. He's his mother puppet and I hate him for that. I finally get what I want, and I was thankful for that, and now it's stretching out away from my grasp. I'm jealous that he still has a mother! But I hate him most for even leaving her in the first place to come to this two star town and leaving her alone. He has a mother and he left her!"  
  
Tori pulled me into his arms and I was caught in his strong embrace. For the longest five seconds of my life, I felt completely safe. Like the world didn't hate me like I thought it did. I felt safe and secure. "But I hate him the most because I can never stay angry with him," I finished before resting my head against my brother's chest and letting all my tears flow freely.  
  
**********  
  
Things are off to a slow start, meaning that this is a short chapter. Hopefully, I'll be able to update the next one soon. It takes me a while to edit, however, so it might take a little longer than I anticipate. 


	2. What a Shock

Winter Loverland  
  
Chapter 2 What a Shock  
  
I'm back, everyone is 16, and I don't own any of the characters, they all belong to CLAMP. I just wrote the story.  
  
**********  
  
Sakura  
  
I watched out the window as the rain poured down onto the concrete of the driveway. I usually loved the sound it made when it hit my window, the soft patter that sounded like a little kid trying to play the piano. But not then. At that time, I hated the sound, it drove me insane. I wanted to smash my hand through that window and capture all the rain, which I would deposit on another planet. But I was a realistic person, and I knew that I would never be able to do that. So I just sat on my bed, hugging my pillow against my chest.  
  
And then it hit me. I wasn't as dumb as a blonde, my color wasn't natural. Li could not have already left for Hong Kong, it just wasn't possible. I changed into a pair of tight jeans and a long sleeve shirt covered in red and white candy canes. I pulled on my boots and grabbed the car keys, which Tori had left on my dresser when he had taken my car to college earlier that day. It was better that he had left me with the Nissan, since is was raining.  
  
I hurried down the stairs. Before I left, I noticed a note of the counter from my father saying that he wouldn't be home until tomorrow afternoon because of some extra research he had to do for work. That didn't bother me like it would have most nights. I grabbed my coat off the coat rack in the foyer and pulled it on. Out of the pocket I pulled Li's apartment address and number. Then I turned off the inside lights and turned on the porch light before closing the door and making a quick dash through the rain to the car.  
  
Li  
  
The fire was lit and I was sitting on the couch in front of it, but it was still not enough to heat my apartment. It wasn't the right conditions for snow, but it was sure cold and since the heat and air conditioner had broken, I wasn't left with much comfort. I sipped my hot chocolate that I had made in high spirits. But the truth was that my high spirits had disappeared. I had already finished packing, but I wasn't sure that I wanted to go. I knew in my heart that there wasn't a way in the world that I was going to be able to stay, but it made me feel so much better to pretend that I might choose to stay.  
  
I wanted to be with Sakura. I didn't want to sound like a love sick teenager with twice the normal hormones, but I wanted to kiss her and hold her, although I'd never admit it out loud to anyone, not even Sakura. I had spent three and a half years fighting the feelings I had for her, but I had finally given in and told her, and I didn't want anything to screw up what we had together. I wanted to stay with her for winter break. I didn't want to admit it, but I didn't really care about my mother at that point. That was what scared me the most, that Sakura meant more to me than my own mother.  
  
A soft tapping noise interrupted my thoughts. I set my mug down on the coffee table and made my way down the front hall to the door. I looked through the eye piece and saw a soaking wet figure standing just under the awning. I quickly pulled open the door, "Oh God, Sakura," I muttered, grabbing her arm and pulling her inside quickly. "Stay here," I commanded, grabbing two dry towels out of the bathroom closet. I wrapped one around her body and the other around her head.  
  
"What the hell were you thinking?" I demanded to know.  
  
Sakura shivered and looked up at me from under her heavy eyelashes, "I was thinking that I needed to see you before you left me to go to Hong Kong."  
  
I chuckled, "You could have waited until it stopped raining. Why don't you go sit on the rug in front of the fireplace and start to dry off while I fix you a mug of hot chocolate?" I suggested. Sakura nodded and walked into the living room, leaving a trail of water that I decided I would mop up later. I poured some steaming water and chocolate powder into a clean mug and carried it over to her.  
  
Sakura took a sip and then set it down on the table, grabbing my hand before I could walk away. She pulled me down next to her and placed the towels closer to the fire so that they would dry. "I just couldn't let you leave without telling you how I feel," she explained.  
  
"Oh yeah?" I questioned, pulling her closer to me. "Well, how do you feel?"  
  
Sakura ran a hand through my hair, "I feel upset that you're leaving. And I'm jealous that you have a mother to go home to. But most of all I'm scared," she paused for a moment. "I'm scared that you might not come back. What if the surprise your mother has in store for you is permanent? I wouldn't be able to face it if you went to spend two weeks in Hong Kong and then never came back."  
  
"Oh, baby, you don't have to worry about that," I whispered, bringing my lips down on hers. I needed to feel her mouth against mine. I couldn't leave without one last time kissing her. I had spent the last six months trying to have some privacy, where it was just the two of us. I finally had that chance and I wasn't going to past it up. I needed Sakura more than ever.  
  
As soon as my tongue found hers, Sakura let out a soft moan that edged me to deepen the kiss even further. Sakura wrapped her free arm around my waist and let it travel up the back, under my undershirt. Goosebumps covered every millimeter of skin that she touched. My hands found a mind of their own and started traveling slowly up the front of her shirt.  
  
Sakura pulled her mouth away from mine for a moment, "Can we take this into the bedroom?" she asked softly, as if she was afraid someone might overhear her. I nodded and pulled her up to her feet. Without letting go of each other, we slowly made out way into my bedroom, Sakura walking forward and me walking backward.  
  
Sakura  
  
I woke up to complete darkness. The only light was coming from the numbers on the digital clock, which was on an odd nightstand I had never seen before. I was confused by my surroundings until I turned onto my other side and managed to see the outline of a sleeping figure in the bed next to me. A mad grin broke out across my face as I let reality sink in. My head began to sink as well, but it sank further and further into the soft pillows.  
  
Before too long, I realized I was naked. Making sure Li was asleep, I slipped out of the bed and pulled on my underwear. Then I found one of Li's large t-shirts that I pulled over my head and decided to use it as a nightgown. I slipped back into the bed, where I was greeted by a soft grunt.  
  
"What?" I asked softly.  
  
"I said 'what the hell are you doing'?" Li repeated. I smiled and snuggled up closer to him. It was early in the morning, only five o'clock, and the weather had only gotten colder overnight. I shivered slightly until Li kissed my neck and grunted something I wasn't able to hear.  
  
"What?" I asked again.  
  
Li sighed and kissed my forehead, "I don't know how you have so much energy," he told me, "I am totally drained. I've got to be on a plane by 10:30, so can I please get back to sleeping?" he asked me.  
  
I shrugged, wrapping my legs around and between his until they were like a pretzel, "I guess you could if you really wanted to," I purred, kissing the edge of his chin while I ran my hands down his chest, loving the way his wash board abs felt under my fingers.  
  
"Sakura, please don't," he moaned. "I really need to sleep. Last night was more than enough more me." Li pulled me flush up against him and kissed the tip of my nose. "I love you, Sakura, but I'm afraid I am not a morning person," he admitted. "I need to get some sleep."  
  
"But you can sleep the whole plane ride. I, however, only have a few more hours with you until you have to be on your way to Hong Kong. Now, can you think of anything better to do than sleep?" I asked, trying to sound innocent, but I had already begun to pull his undershirt up.  
  
"Well, maybe," he answered finally. "Fancy a shower?"  
  
Madison  
  
I wanted to cry out in frustration when there was a knock on my door. I quickly pulled my bathrobe around myself tighter and pitter pattered to the door in my bedroom slippers. My eyes were puffy red from crying and my hair was tousled from all the shifting on the couch. I opened the door an inch and groaned when I saw Eli standing there.  
  
"What do you want, Eli?" I asked, trying not to cry. "Did you have enough fun for one day? Or do you need to yell at me some more? God!" I shouted at him before he could say a word.  
  
"Madison…" he started, but then he leaned against the doorframe and peered into my house, "A rich little girl home all alone, crying?" he asked in a soft voice.  
  
I sniffed a little, "I wasn't crying," I insisted. "And my mother is never home during my vacations. She's never home at all. I might as well not have her in my life, I haven't seen her in a year almost." I paused for a moment and then glanced back at Eli. "What are you doing here, anyways? Come to share your closing argument?"  
  
Eli sighed and placed his hand on the door handle. He tapped his long fingers on them for a minute before he finally looked back up at me. "I don't understand why you always make things so complicated between us. You always act like I'm here to pick a fight with you, Madison, and I hate to break it to you and hurt your feelings, but I'm not. I didn't come all this way just to argue with you and I'm almost hurt that you would think that, but I guess I can see why you think that."  
  
I sighed and leaned against the wall, "I need to apologize to you, I understand that. But I don't think I'm quite ready to yet," I admitted.  
  
"And why would that be?" he asked, crossing her arms over his chest. "Do you have too much pride to apologize to little old me?"  
  
I felt a slap to my face, mentally though, not physically, "Maybe it wasn't a good idea for you to come here right now," I told him, reaching for the door handle. "I have a lot on my mind as it is, and I don't want to worry about whatever I need to do with you." I closed the door quickly before he could get another word in. Groaning, I placed my head against the door and closed the door. What was I so afraid of? I didn't really know. Maybe I was scared that I might actually tell Eli how I felt and he wouldn't feel the same way. But why would he? I had just slammed the door in his face when he came all the way to see me. I didn't know what to do anymore. My heart hurt and I was starting to obtain a headache from obsessive thinking.  
  
Li  
  
I wrapped a towel around my waist and waited for Sakura to cover herself. By the time I turned back around, Sakura had tied her towel around her, just above her chest. God, I couldn't help but thinking, she is so sexy in a towel. Sakura smiled at me as she attempted to dry her hair with the other white towel that matched the one she was using as clothing. She pushed the towel up and down her head several times until she paused for a moment to flip her hair back behind her head. And it looked like a wreck, but no matter how bad her hair looked, she was still beautiful.  
  
I stepped close to her and took the towel out of her hands. I threw it onto the floor before I took her face between my hands and kissed her gently. Sakura moaned and pressed her body against mine, "Li," she murmured, "we really shouldn't. You need to catch that flight of yours."  
  
"Well I was thinking that I might just skip that little trip and stay right here with you," I told her, kissing her cheek and then her neck. I heard her sigh before she stepped back away from me. "Please don't do this to me," she begged. "I know you're getting on that plane in three hours and you know it too, so it sucks to have you pretend that you're going to stay. It makes it so much harder to let you leave!"  
  
I pulled her into a tight hug, taking in her wonderful scent, "I know," I whispered. I couldn't manage anything else.  
  
"Do you need to pack or anything?" Sakura asked me, lifting up her head to gaze into my eyes. I shook my head, "I packed last night before you came over," I muttered, kissing her softly.  
  
Sakura smiled and slid her arms around my neck, "So you don't really have anything to do for two hours?" she teased, giggling softly.  
  
I smiled back at her, "No, I don't. Unless," I added, lifting her up by her waist and started to walk into the bedroom, "you have another plans," I finished, dropping her down on the bed on her back, quickly covering her mouth with mine while she pulled my towel off.  
  
Sakura  
  
"What time is it?" I asked as Li pulled away from me slowly. I laid under him, breathing in quick, sharp breaths. He shifted his weight to the left as he glanced at the clock quickly before facing me again. The look in his eyes had changed, and I knew that it wasn't a good sign. "It's 9:30," he answered before rolling over on his back next to me in the bed. I turned to my side and rested my head against his arm, "I guess we'd better get up, right?" I asked. "Your flight boards at 10:20. We wouldn't want you to miss your flight."  
  
"Oh no, we would never want that to happen. I would just die," he retorted, a note of sarcasm in his voice.  
  
I rolled my eyes and kissed his shoulder, "Be a doll and get me a bathrobe, would you?" I asked. He looked at me angrily and I knew it was because I had called him a doll. I should have know better than to try to call him a pet name like that. But nevertheless, he got out of the bed and walked into the bathroom. I turned my head sideways so I wouldn't be able to see his naked form. A blue bathrobe came flying out of the direction of the bathroom and landed next to me on top of the comforter. I snatched it and pulled it on before I pulled myself out from under the covers.  
  
Li came back into the room with a pair of boxers and an undershirt on. "You know what I don't get?" he asked, rummaging through his closet before tossing a striped shirt with a collar onto the bed and a pair of black slacks. "What?" I asked, before joining him over by the closet. He handed me a plain white t-shirt and a pair of old jeans. "What I don't get is way you'll take a shower with me, but you have to have a bathrobe to get out of my bed. Those clothes should fit you. I don't really have any female clothes because I don't usually need them." He kissed my forehead and I knew I was blushing, "You get dressed in here while I quickly make a small batch of pancakes for us to eat before I have to get going."  
  
Li left the room and closed the door while he did. I found my bra on the floor and pulled it on and then my underwear, which were still on the bathroom floor next to Li's large shirt. I pulled on the jeans, which were a little to wide in the waist and a little too long in the legs, and then the t-shirt, which was just a little loose. I picked up my jeans and candy cane shirt, which were still a little damp from the rain. I walked into the living room and set them down on the couch next to my car keys and my boots.  
  
A wonderful smell filled the air and the aroma itself was enough to make me hungry. I set down on one of the barstools that were in front of the side bar that attached to the kitchen counters. "I love this apartment of yours," I commented while Li set down a plate in front of me that had three large pancakes. He looked through the refrigerator and pulled out a bottle of syrup and a container of butter and placed those down next to my plate. Li put the sliver ware on the bar when he sat down with his own plate. "I like being here with you," I told him and took a bite of my pancakes. "These are really good," I told him.  
  
"We'd better hurry and finish eating," was all he said back.  
  
I nodded, more to myself than to Li, and ate my pancakes quickly. "I should probably drop you off at your house before I head to the airport," he told me as he finished his breakfast and cleaned his plate. I took my plate to him at the sink. "I drove my car here, I can drive myself home," I told him. "But I would like to watch your plane take off."  
  
"That's just not a good idea, Sakura," he snapped, drying the two plates and putting them away in the cabinet. I put my hand on his arm softly, "I don't see why not. Last night, it was magical. And this morning was great too. But now, you just seem so distant. I didn't do anything wrong, did I?" I asked him softly.  
  
"Sakura, this is hard for me, you know? Last night was amazing, and now I have to fly across a sea and not see you for two weeks. I don't think I'll be able to get on that plane if you're there with me," he told me, looking down at his feet.  
  
"So we'll just say our good-byes here," I said. Li pulled me into his arms, "I can't say good-bye to you. If I say good-bye, it seems as if I'll never see you again and it will only be two weeks. So let's not say good-bye." I nodded and kissed him one more time. "I'm going to miss you, Li."  
  
I went back to his couch and picked up my shirt, jeans and keys and pulled on my boots. Li grabbed his suitcase and keys as well. He opened the door and turned off the apartment lights before locking the door. We walked out to our cars, which were parked next to each other. I put my shirt and jeans in while Li put his suitcase in. I hugged him one more time, "I'll see you soon," I told him. He kissed my forehead and sighed, "I know," he answered. We got into our separate cars and drove in different directions, me to my house and Li to the airport.  
  
Madison  
  
I woke up to a fresh new start. The sun was shining, with a soft, delicate layer of frost lining the windows and the grass in the front lawn. I stretched out under my comforter and let the morning sink in. There was a soft tap at my bedroom door and our maid, Marissa, opened it slowly. "Miss Taylor, a certain Eli Moon left an urgent message in which he requested to have lunch with you at his mansion at precisely noon this afternoon." She paused for a moment. "Should I tell him never to call again? You've turned him down every time before now, I just figured he would have given up by now, but I wasn't sure if something had developed between the two of you since he was trying again, so I decided I would do my duties and ask."  
  
"Thank you Marissa," I answered, sitting up. "Please call Mr. Moon back and tell him that I have other plans for the afternoon. Today would not be a good time."  
  
"But Miss Taylor, you do not have any other plans for the today. I checked before I came up to you," Marissa answered, slightly confused.  
  
"Of course I don't," I snapped. "But I want him to think I do until he has enough guts to come here and request my presence for lunch in person. Otherwise, the men will anyways think that the women are always going to accept their invitation, and I for one will not."  
  
Marissa nodded and left my room, closing the door behind her. I sighed as I sunk back down into the warmth of my covers. Why didn't Eli ever get the hint when I told him that I had other plans? Why wasn't he smart enough to realize that I was lying and that all he had to do to ensure a lunch date was to come over to my house and ask? I didn't understand why guys had to act the way they were. If they would just take a hint once and a while, it would make the whole dating process so much easier and faster.  
  
Sakura  
  
When I pulled into the driveway, my father's Jeep and my sports car were already in the driveway. I knew right then that is was going to be hard to explain to Tori and Dad why I was home so late, unless they didn't know I had spent the night away from home. Tori would know something was up, and I had a feeling that he would know what I had done. However, Dad was rarely ever home to realize those types of things, so maybe I would be okay. It wasn't like I had spent the night out before. I could just stay that I had spent the night as Madison's.  
  
I parked the car behind the Jeep and pulled the keys out of the ignition. I flipped open a mirror I had in my purse and gave myself a quick glance over. My hair had dried, but it was a little puffy because while it dried, I hadn't exactly stood still. I sighed and leaned back against the car seat, closing my eyes and remembering the night before. I wanted to cry knowing that I wouldn't see Li again for two whole weeks. But I grabbed my clothes out of the passenger's seat and locked the car, hearing the beep of the car alarm turning on. I quickly walked up to the front door and opened it because it had been left unlocked. Not wanting to alarm my father, I called out, "I'm home," before running up the stairs and quickly changing into some of my own clothes. I decided on a pair of black jeans and a plain white long sleeve t-shirt. I peeled off my boots and then walked back downstairs to find Tori and my Dad.  
  
"Where is everyone?" I called out once I had made my way to the kitchen. Tori and Dad were no where in sight, but Kero's little body popped out from behind the refrigerator door. "Hey Sakura!" he smiled cheerfully before shoving a whole cupcake into his mouth. Once he swallowed, he continued, "Your father and Tori are in the den arguing over something I didn't understand."  
  
I nodded and went through the dining room and into the hall, then to the back of the house and into the den. Before I even opened the door, I could hear Tori's angry shouts. Once I had presented myself to my family, all noises stopped. My father got out of his chair. "Where the hell have you been, Sakura? Tori called me this morning to tell me that you weren't home and that your bed had not been slept in. I called Madison, and she said she hadn't heard from you since school ended."  
  
I took a deep breath. There went my alibi. "Dad, some friends from school and I went to a winter break party and it ran pretty late. I fell asleep on the couch at the house and came home as soon as I could. I'm really sorry I didn't leave a note, but I was so excited to finally be out of school for a while and I was pretty upset about Li, so I decided that a party would cheer me up a little. I didn't think you would be mad. You two weren't arguing about me were you?" I asked. After I said this, I noticed for the first time a brunette woman, maybe in her early twenties, sitting in one of my Dad's lounge chairs. "Tori, aren't you going to introduce me to your girlfriend?" I asked.  
  
Tori coughed loudly and glared at Dad. I was getting a little confused and I didn't like the feeling. "Sakura," my father said, resting his hands on the woman's shoulders. "This is Kari. I met her through my work and we've become friends. Very close friends." I almost gagged on the news.  
  
I stared at Kari and then turned to face Tori, "You actually let him bring this hoe into our house? Are you smoking weed or something?" I shouted. I turned back to face Kari, anger filling me, "Get out of my house! You don't belong here. You're younger than my brother!"  
  
"Oh Sakura, that's not the worst part," Tori informed me, "they're engaged."  
  
I gasped and my face turned red and hot. I couldn't take this. And I was going to tell them just that. "I can't handle this right now! The anniversary of Mom's death is coming up, Li is leaving me to visit his mother in Hong Kong, and my father is getting married to a twenty-one year old slut! My brother's gay and my best friend won't tell the guy she likes that she likes him, so she's all pissed off at me. Does anyone know what I think?" I shouted. "Do you? Well, I'll tell you. I lost my virginity last night, so now I think I'm going to go to the airport and buy myself a one way ticket to Hong Kong so I can sleep with Li again!" I screamed. Tears were streaming down my face like twin waterfalls. Tori was pale because I had babbled his secret to Dad. Kari was pale because I had called her a slut. My Dad was red in the face because he was extremely mad at me. My whole head was pounding in an extremely painful way and I wanted to kill myself for telling them that I had slept with Li. But one part of that terrible experience was helpful. I realized what I had to do for winter break. I had to get away from my family and spend the holidays with Li in Hong Kong.  
  
Li  
  
I got off the plane, after what seemed like hours. I was so glad to finally be off the crazy flying machine. I walked down the long airport hallway, heading for baggage claim with my hands in my pocket. I hadn't been able to sleep a wink because every time I finally drifted off, the memory of Sakura and me entangled under the covers of my bed woke me right up again. I realized after about two hours of trying that this trip was going to wear me out.  
  
I found my way to the baggage claim of the Hong Kong International Airport and grabbed my one luggage bag and is passed by on the revolving baggage chains. I walked slowly toward the front of the airport, where my mother was sitting, reading the newspaper with her glasses on. I walked up to her and set my suitcase down on the floor. "I'm home," I said meekly. My mother peered over her newspaper until she saw me. She tossed the newspaper aside and pulled me into her arms, "Oh Li, welcome home. My only son has finally come home, for Christmas."  
  
"Hi, Mother," was all I said in return. The truth was, I didn't really know what to say to my mother. I had spoken to her a few times over the phone, but I hadn't seen her face to face since I had moved to Reedington to help Sakura capture the Clow Cards. My mother smiled at me. "Your sisters told me to wish you a happy holidays and they wanted to say hello. I was so disappointed when they told me they weren't going to be able to visit this year. But they are have their own families now, you know. Sarah has her husband and twin boys, Amy is the newly wed, and Kristy is married with four children. You're running a little behind, Li. Tell me you have met someone worth our family clan. You know that once I die, the Showron clan will belong to you and your mistress."  
  
"I don't understand why my partner will be a mistress, while my sisters' partners are husbands," I answered, dogging the question. We started walking toward the elevators, which would take us down to the parking garage were Mother had parked the car.  
  
"Li, that answer is obvious. The Showron males have always married for pleasure, not for love, Li. Or they have married because they are promised. Your partner will not be your wife, but simply the woman that bares your children."  
  
As we got on the elevator, I sighed, "Just because that was what you were to my father doesn't mean that is how I will treat my wife. I will find someone I love and I will marry her, when the time is right, of course."  
  
"Li, don't figure these things out by yourself. The truth is, you don't know who the right wife will be for you. That is where your surprise comes in, my son," my mother said as the doors slid open and we walked to our car.  
  
I froze in step as I noticed a pretty female girl, my age or a year younger, standing by the passenger side of my mother's car. Her black hair was tied up in a bun, signaling that she was engaged. "Oh God, Mother, tell me you didn't," I prayed. My mind was screaming that this could not have been happening.  
  
"Li, I want you to met Han. She is to be your wife," my mother told me excitedly, introducing me to the stranger by my car.  
  
Madison  
  
At 11:57, I walked up the steep steps to the front door of Eli's mansion. I didn't know what I was doing there to begin with. I had reassured myself a hundred times that Eli had to make the first move by asking my out properly, by showing up at my house. But as the minutes had ticked away and it had become closer and closer to noon, I decided to screw my reason. Sakura and Li were happy together, and I wanted want Sakura had with Li with Eli. I took in a deep breath, praying for the best, before reaching for the door knocker, with was shaped like a crescent moon, and knocking it as hard as I could against the huge wooden door. The sound it made was almost deafening, but within a minute, the door opened slowly, and Eli smiled out of the shadows of his home at me, "Well look who decided to show up for lunch. I assume that is what you are here for, am I correct?" he asked, opening the door a little wider, as if inviting me in.  
  
I shrugged, "My earlier appointment canceled at the last minute, and I remembered how often you have called for a lunch date, so I decided I might just take you up on your offer this time, since I am finally able to," I told him. Eli smirked at me and pushed he head outside, close to mine, "Don't lie to me, Madison. I know there wasn't any other appoint you had to make. You haven't fooled me one bit. There never were any other appoints that you had to make. You were afraid or nervous or something, that I haven't figured out. Just don't lie to me, I'm too good for that."  
  
I frowned, "Well, at least you have such high regards for yourself. I'm sure everyone loves a man who loves himself."  
  
"Oh, don't even give me that bullshit, Madison!" he snapped. "You don't have to insult me because you aren't confident yourself!"  
  
I gasped in amazement. Had he really just said that to me? I was pretty sure he had, "You know what, Eli? I don't know why I even bothered showing up today. I always had a reason to decline your offer, because you weren't enough of a man to come ask me yourself, in person. Get over yourself Eli, because until you do, no one else will ever care for you!" I shouted to him.  
  
"Oh shut up, Madison. You know that's not true," He retorted. "And do you want to know why?" he asked me. "Because you care for me."  
  
I swallowed slowly, "Maybe I thought I did, Eli, and maybe that's why I came today, but not now, not after hearing what you have to say. Now I'm sorry that I even wasted my time thinking that it was even a possibility because now I know that it isn't." I turned around and hurried down the steps, thinking about Eli standing there, shocked out of his mind by his front door and thinking of me, walking away from one of my few chances of happiness. 


	3. What I Would Give

Winter Loverland  
  
Chapter 3 What I Would Give  
  
Chapter three is up and ready for you to read. If you thought the other chapters were cruel, read on my friends!  
  
**********  
  
Sakura  
  
Tori grabbed my arm and dragged me out of den, "You did what?" he screamed in a half whisper. "You heard me," I answered, pulling my arm out of his grasp. "I slept with Li and now I'm going to fly all the way to Hong Kong just to get away from this crazy nut place."  
  
"You can't just leave! You have to help me talk Dad out of marrying that teenager. He's just upset that mother's dead and he thinks he's alone. You have to stay to show him that he isn't alone and that he has us, so he doesn't need to marry someone our age," Tori explained, and I just admit that what he said to me made sense. But at the same time, I knew I had to get away from my father, at least for a little while, to figure my own stuff out. I was still going to Hong Kong, I knew I needed that for sure, even if it was only for a few hours. I had to see Li and talk to him about what was going on between and what was going to be continued, or stopped, between us. So maybe I would buy a two way ticket and come back to deal with the issues that lay ahead of me with my father. "If you could just stay with him for a few more days and try to handle that by yourself, then I could come back and help dad realize that the three of us are a family together without Mom, and we will never need another mother figure again. But no matter what, I need to visit Li in Hong Kong and figure out what's going on between us."  
  
"What's going on between you?" Tori questioned. "What's going on between you is that my sixteen year old sister is already having sex! That's what's going on," he snapped. "How could you be so foolish, Sakura? Have you even imagined what would happen to your life if you got pregnant? You wouldn't be able to handle school and take care of Li's little brat spawn. Think of how you've thrown your life down the toilet, Sakura. You may have had fun last night, but the responsibilities that come after your sex aren't so fun."  
  
"Tori, please just drop it. Li and I are adults and we're going to talk about it and discuss our own personal matters as adults. That means that you don't have to worry about whether or not Li and I are going to continue sleeping together. All you need to worry about right now is explaining to Dad about you liking other guys. Now you see, my problem isn't so much as a big deal as yours' is. I may be having sex will Li, but you are having sex with other guys, so Li and I aren't that important anymore. I'll see you when I get back from Hong Kong. Tell Dad I love him, but his new toy doesn't fit in the house, so she's gotta go."  
  
I went back through the dining room and the kitchen. Kero was still eating away, however he had moved on to bigger and better things, like a large chocolate cake that had been sitting in the refrigerator, welcoming Dad back home after he long work in Africa. So maybe it was a good thing that Kero had eaten the cake, because after seeing my father's Christmas present to himself, no one in our house really felt like celebrating, except maybe Dad.  
  
Eli  
  
I sat in my study, staring into the fireplace. Usually, my fights with Madison never really mattered. We would fight over things and subjects that didn't matter, so it didn't really matter who won and who lost. But this was different. The last subject we had argued about had mattered. And Madison had won. I had been so selfish to think that I could keep talking to her like that and get away with it without any consequences. And even if Madison didn't know it, what she had said to me had really hit home and stung me where it hurt. Ever since I had arrived in Reedington, I had always somewhat fancied Madison. She was so gorgeous and kind and full of laughter. But the more time I spent with her, the more it seemed she had started to hate me. And our argument the day before had really blown my chances with her.  
  
I had played a game of chance and I had lost. And the stakes were too high to have even started the stupid ordeal. But now I was stuck. I had been right - Madison had feelings for me, like I had hoped for, but I was stupid enough to believe that I was special enough to treat her like dirt and for her to still feel the same about me. The truth was that I truly cared about Madison and she had cared about me, but now my chances were slim to none.  
  
I shot an angry fireball across the room into the fireplace using a small spell I had picked up in India. It was handy when I was pissed off at myself or at other things and people. I couldn't take my self pity anymore. I pulled on a black long sleeve turtleneck and a pair of black pants. I put my coat on over it and my boots and I walked out of my house, slamming the front door behind me. Madison's house was only a few blocks away and I figured I might as well walk instead of drive. The weather was nice, if not a bit chilly. I walked down the street with my hands in my pockets, watching the last leaves fall from the trees, which looked dead lining the streets. I hurried to Madison's and didn't stop my speed walking until I had reached her large home and had started walking up the driveway, through the front gates which were luckily open. The whole place seemed a little deserted. I sighed and walked up to the front door.  
  
I waited a while, which seemed like eternity, until the front door finally opened and Madison stood there, in a small miniskirt and a tank top. As soon as she saw me, Madison began to shut the door. Desperate to talk to her, I held the door open with my hand, "Please let me just talk to you, Madison."  
  
"I don't want to hear it, Eli," she snapped at me. "I'm so freakin tired of all this crap you want me to put up with and I won't even try anymore. I don't want to see you anymore Eli, which means I don't want you coming by my house anymore or asking my to join you for your ridiculous little lunch dates. I'm sick of you trying to get me to come and then when I finally do, you treat me like scum on your shoe. I won't take that - not from you or anyone else. So just leave me alone."  
  
"I know you're mad at me right now, Madison, and you have every right to be. But I'm sorry about the way I treated you yesterday. It was wrong of me to call you unconfident and for me to play on your feelings like that, but I care about you Madison, and before I couldn't tell you that. But now I can. And I hope you understand that."  
  
I noticed that Madison was crying, "Just leave, OK? How hard is that to understand? Leave me alone, please, Eli. I can't deal with this right now." I shook my head and stepped closer to her, "Don't be afraid, Madison. And don't be scared. This can happen between us, if you let it." Madison shook her head back at me and muttered, "Eli, stop…" before she had finished she protests, I kissed her. Her lips were so soft, I felt I was dieing. Madison started to pull away, but she stopped halfway and kissed me back. Oh good, I thought, this is the beginning of something great.  
  
Sakura  
  
The Hong Kong International Airport was extremely crowded on Monday when I had landed. I had bought my ticket Sunday morning and spent the rest of the day arguing with my father and Tori. My father and Tori defiantly did not want me to go, but I made them soon realize that they didn't have much choice in the matter and that I was going no matter what they managed to say to me. Now that I was actually in Hong Kong, my stomach felt as if I could throw up at any moment. I didn't know what was wrong with me, but I was nervous about going to see Li in his hometown. I had never been to Hong Kong before and I didn't know where Li lived, which didn't make the situation any better. I just figured that Li's clan was a large and powerful family in Hong Kong, so I should be able to ask and find my way without too much trouble. I just hoped that it wouldn't be too far away, because I didn't have any other means of transportation besides my feet.  
  
I picked up my duffel bag, which I had set on the floor, and made my way out of the front sliding doors, exiting into a chilly world of small snowflakes. It wasn't snowing heavily, but it was enough to make the whole town seem magical and beautiful. I turned to a guy who worked at the airport and was checking incoming customers and smiled as cheerfully as I could. "Hi. I'm new to Hong Kong, and I was wondering if you had a telephone book I could use to look up my friend's address."  
  
The worker, whose name tag read 'Phil', nodded and pulled out a white pages phone book and set in on the podium, turning it to face me and flipping it open to a random page. Oddly enough, the page was Sha-Sho, which was were I located Li's address. I wrote it down on a scrap piece of paper I had stowed away in my pocket. Then I tried my best to memorize the address, and shoved the piece of paper into my back pocket of my jeans. Then I hurried down the street, pulling the hood of my sweat shirt on over my hair to keep the snow out of it. Checking the street signs, I found my way around Hong Kong and after about a half an hour and numerous times of asking for directions, I finally found myself standing in front of a large, black, iron gate.  
  
Taking a deep breath, I buzzed the little black button on the intercom system tool and waited for someone to answer. "Who is it?" snapped an impatient voice from the sound box after a minute.  
  
"My name is Sakura Avalon and I'm here to see Li Showron," I spoke to the speaker, feeling a little foolish.  
  
There was a pause for a moment on the other side of the intercom, "Do you have an appointment, Miss. Avalon?" the person asked.  
  
"No," I replied honestly. "But I know Li and I'm sure he'll be happy to see me."  
  
There wasn't an answer, but a heard a buzzing sound and the gates slowly opened. I smiled and walked up the drive to the large front door. I rang the door bell softly and within a minute, Li had opened the door and stepped out, closing the door tight behind him. I had expected him to be happy to see me, but the look on Li's face was definitely not joy. It almost looked like anger, "What the hell are you doing here, Sakura?" he hissed under his breath, grabbing my arm and pulling me further away from his house. "I thought we had decided that you were going to stay in Reedington and I was going to come here and spend some time with my mother."  
  
"Well, yeah we did decide that, but a few things have changed that we didn't decided on, so I was kind of hoping I could still take you up on your offer and stay here for two days. If you'd just let me explain," I started, but Li cut me off. "Sakura, go home. Please. This is not a good time for you to show up and you can't stay here right now."  
  
I wrapped my arms around Li's neck and stood on my toes to kiss his nose, "What's got you all in a wad, Li? Did something happen that has got you all upset? If so, just tell me and I'm sure I can help you through it."  
  
Li sighed and pulled me closer to him, wrapping his arms around my waist, "There is nothing you can do to help my problem. I can't even do anything to help myself. My mother has complete power here and nothing I say or do can make her change her mind." Li took a step forward, forcing me to take a step back and my back pressed up against the wall.  
  
"What did your mother decide?" I asked. Li just shook his head and pressed his lips against mine. My chest tightened and I was extremely shocked at the sudden movement. I ran one hand up through his hair and then pressed his head harder against mine. My legs became weak and I fell back against the wall, but Li was holding me securely enough that I didn't slide down to the floor. Then, using one arm, Li pulled me up against him and used the other arm to reach up to my face and carefully cup my face.  
  
The front door flew up and Li's mother stood in the door, "Li, I wanted to ask you about the flowers-" she stopped and gasped and I quickly shoved Li away from me. My cheeks were burning a bright red; I had never been more embarrassed in my entire life. "What flowers?" Li asked naturally, as if his mother hadn't seen anything out of the ordinary.  
  
"Who are you?" His mother asked me hurriedly.  
  
"I'm Sakura Avalon. I live in Reedington and go to school with Li," I told her, "It's nice to met you," I added, feeling I needed to suck up a little. I was, after all, asking to stay at her house for a few days.  
  
"Well, Sakura, it seems as if you have gotten to know my son very well. So answer me this - did you know that Li here is getting married by the end of the month?" she asked me, a cruel smile forming at the edges of her lips.  
  
I felt as if the air had been knocked right out of my body. My chest hurt and my feet began to lose feeling in them. My vision blurred a little. Li grabbed my arm and wrapped an arm around my waist as I muttered, "Oh God," and passed out.  
  
**********  
  
I woke up in a strange new environment. The walls were white, but the rest of the room was almost completely black. All the furniture was black, now the carpet was white, but there was a black rug covering most of it. The room was huge and warm.  
  
That was another thing. My whole body was burning up, except for my forehead, which felt slightly cool. My hand slowly traveled from my side to my face and I felt an ice cold ice pack on my forehead. I groaned softly and tried to turn, but my body wouldn't let me. Li was getting married. That was the last thing I had heard. It couldn't possibly be true - he was only sixteen. But just the way he had been acting made it seem all the more real to me.  
  
"Sakura?" came a low, deep voice that I recognized. I opened my eyes, which I didn't remember closing again, and stared up until Li's face became less blurry. "So that was your big surprise?" I asked him as he sat down on the bed next to me and took the ice pack in his hands, flipping it over, and then placing it back on my forehead. "Yeah, although if you ask me, it's more of a punishment than a surprise."  
  
I nodded and sat up slowly, letting the ice pack fall from my head. I picked it up and threw it on the floor. "What is that supposed to mean?" I asked him. "Does that mean that what we have can't continue? What we did doesn't matter? I have to give you up to someone you don't even know?" The questions poured out of me, but new ones just kept forming. "I came here to be with you and get away from the rest of the problems in my life, but now that I've come, I just want to go back again."  
  
Li pushed my loose hair behind my ears, "What problems are you dealing with?" he asked me softly.  
  
"Well, let's see," I started sarcastically. "My father is getting married to a woman who is younger than my brother and sleeping with her. I blabbed that we had sex. My brother is gay and is sleeping with other guys, but he's worried about me sleeping with you and now you are sleeping with some complete stranger, which means that I won't be sleeping with anyone except myself. The only person not involved in the whole situation is Kero, and he isn't even a person. I just can't take it," I cried, letting my tears run. I had started to become a friggin waterfall, crying all the time.  
  
Li hushed me softly and pulled me into his arms, slowly rocking me back in forth. I cried on his shoulders and leaned against him. My world was falling apart, piece by piece, starting at the bottom and allowing the top to tumble down. Li kissed the top of my head, my forehead, my cheek, and then my mouth. I kissed him back hungrily, forcing my tongue into his mouth and pressing his back down against the mattress. Li began to kiss my neck as I started to unbutton the front of his shirt. When I had finished, I put one leg on either side of his two, pulling his shirt off and starting on his undershirt. "Sakura," Li murmured. "Sakura, we can't do this. Not right now." He propped himself up on his elbows and kissed me passionately. I forgot about what he had just said and started to unbuckle his belt while he started on my shirt. My sweat shirt had already been taken off, which made it easier for him. I pulled his belt all the way off and threw it off the bed, unsnapping the button of his pants and unzipping them as well. Li had already managed to get my shirt off and he was working on my pants as well. Just as we had managed getting each others pants off, there was a loud knock at the bedroom door. "Oh, crap," Li muttered, kissing me again before getting back up and reaching for his pants and shirt. "Li, don't answer it," I begged.  
  
"I have to Sakura," he whispered, pulling his clothes back on. "Just get under the covers and pretend to sleep." I nodded reluctantly and slid under the covers, closing my eyes and getting on my side, facing away from the door.  
  
I heard the door open slowly and then a muffled voice, which belonged to Li, I believe.  
  
"Look, I know you are reluctant about our marriage, Li, but you're going to have to get physical after a while. And this isn't even about that. I just need to use your shower because the one in the guest room in broken and I cannot find your mother anywhere to ask permission to use hers. And I don't know why you're making such a big deal out of this. In little over a week, all of this will be mine as well, including this room, and that bathroom." I heard a slight movement, "And I plan that we will have many sleepless nights in that bed there until you have yourself a male heir," she purred.  
  
I wanted to gag. More likely, I wanted to strangle the little bitch, but I settled with pulling Li's covers around me tightly and praying that she wouldn't kiss him. Tears threatened to fall, but I held them in as best as I could.  
  
"Listen, Han," Li began, "I now know what you're planning on if this marriage goes through, and I want to warn you ahead of time that nothing like that is ever going to happen because you will not be sharing the same quarters as me."  
  
"Believe what you want, Li, but when the time comes, you will be mine and you will produce a heir. Now get out of my way and let me use the shower. You wouldn't want your mother hearing of this little mishap, would you?" Han snapping. I saw a small amount of her shadow as she walked across the room to the bathroom and slammed the door forcefully. As soon as the water had started running, Li came over and crawled into the bed next to me.  
  
I turned onto my other side to face him, "That's your wife to be?" I asked softly. Li just sighed and nodded, pressing his lips against my forehead and then he kissed my cheek. "I'm sorry you're here for all this," he murmured, kissing down the side of my neck.  
  
"Well I'm not," I insisted. "If I wasn't here, maybe you would be sleeping with her and by the next time I saw you, you'd be married and well on your way to having a heir."  
  
Li stopped kissing me and pushed my hair out of my face, "You know that's not true, Sakura. I love you and I would never to that to you. The marriage part may have been correct, but I can't help that. But that other stuff, you know I wouldn't do that." He lowered his voice to a whisper, "When she's done in my bathroom, I've got a jacuzzi tub if you want."  
  
"Li, I'm not going to have sex with you in a tub that you're soon to be wife will have just finished taking a bath in," I hissed. "You've got to be kidding me. I'm never stepping foot in that bathroom."  
  
"Fine," he said. "Then as soon as she leaves, I lock the door and we can sleep in the bed."  
  
I rolled my eyes at him and sat up, pulling the covers up to my waist, "Is that all you ever think about anymore, Showron? Because I've gotta tell you, I don't know how much I like that."  
  
Li sat up and crawled over on top of me, pushing me down into a sea of pillows, "No, it's not all I think about, but it's definitely number one right now," he muttered, pulling the covers over him as well and pressing his lips against mine.  
  
"We can't," I told him, pushing him away. "At least not right now. She's still in there, you know."  
  
"How can I forget? You keep reminding me every five seconds," he chuckled. I sighed and pulled his body down on mine. My legs wrapped around his and my hands started pulling the back of his shirt up. He hadn't had time to put his undershirt back on. "I thought you just said we couldn't do this," he commented.  
  
I kissed his neck, "Don't ruin the moment, Li."  
  
"Li?" came a voice from the bathroom. "Do you know where the towels are? I can't seem to find one."  
  
"That little slut," I whispered under my breath. Li gave me a warning look, so I guessed that he had heard me say that. "They're right there on the counter," he shouted back, before starting to take over where I had left off.  
  
"I can't find any," Han replied after a moment. "Can you come show me where they are?" she asked.  
  
Li started to move, but I grabbed his shoulders, "You aren't going anywhere, Mister. That girl in there is naked and if you think I'm going to let you go see her like that, you've got another thing coming," I hissed at him. Li blushed slightly, "It's right there on the counter."  
  
Han came walking right into the room. "Holy crap," I muttered, hiding my head against Li's shoulder. Li started to turn his head, but I kissed him quickly, "Remember who you're sleeping with," I snapped. "What the hell are you doing?" Li asked her without turning around.  
  
"Well, I'm going to stand here and drip water unto your carpet until you go and get me a towel. It's not like it's something big for you to see me naked, after all. You're going to be seeing a lot of me like this very soon, so you might as well get used to it," Han smiled.  
  
I couldn't believe it. I jumped out of the bed, causing Han to gasp. I was sure that was partially because she hadn't know there was another female in the room, but mostly because I was only in a pair of underwear and a bra. I stormed into the bathroom and snatched two towels off the counter. Then I walked back into the bedroom and threw the towels in her face. "Here's the bloody towels, you blind bat. Now get out of the fucking room and leave us alone, you whore."  
  
Han wrapped a towel around her body and looked as if she was about to cry. She stormed out of the room. I slammed the door shut behind her and locked it. I spun around on my heals and came face to face with Li. "I cannot believe that you just did that," he grinned. "Whenever I think I have finally figured you out, you go and blow my head right off. You sure have spunk."  
  
I frowned at Li and stood there for a moment, "I shouldn't have come. I see that now. I've just been one problem after other. I need to get home and deal with my father before Christmas and I need to talk to Madison because Madison always knows what to do in situations like these. I just can't be around you right now, Li. With all that's been happening, I can't be around you anymore at all," I said, pulling on my shirt and jeans.  
  
"What are you trying to say, Sakura?" Li asked.  
  
I wanted to cry and cry and scream at myself for what I was doing. "I'd give anything to be with you, Li, I truly would, but I can't deal with this. We're sixteen and we're having a midlife crisis. I need to go home and deal with my own crap and leave you here to deal with your own. I'm not mature enough to be in this kind of a relationship. I kept telling myself that I was and that I needed you, but nothing is worse than what this is doing to me. I love you, Li, honest to God I do, but I can't put up with this and with you right now."  
  
"So that's it?" Li asked, grabbing my arm to prevent me from leaving to room like I was trying to. "You're just going to leave Hong Kong, leave me, and pretend like nothing's happened between us?"  
  
"God, Li! Can't we just make this simple? Things aren't exactly working out between us. They never have! Something had always gotten in the way of us being happy. Can't you take that as a sign and just let it go?" I snapped, raising my voice a little.  
  
"No, I can't! I can't just let it go! Things haven't been perfect, you're right. But they've worked. We work, Sakura. I can see that and I know that deep down, you do too. I can't just let you walk out of the door and away from me for evermore. That just wouldn't be right. And you're lying to yourself if you say that the other night didn't mean anything. It did!"  
  
"I know it did! But I can't handle this. You're getting married and there's nothing you can do to stop that. You said so yourself! So just give it up, Li. Give me up and move on," I cried, grabbing my duffel bag and walking down the hall, trying to find my way out. Li ran in front of me and turned back to face me, blocking the way. "You can't do this, Sakura. You can't run away from your problems like this. The feelings you have won't disappear. You care for me and that isn't going to change over night."  
  
"Li, just get out of the way and show me to the door. I don't want to argue with you anymore about this because I've made up my mind. I'm going home," I told him.  
  
Li sighed and showed me to the front door. On the front porch, he kissed me passionately. "Don't think that I'm giving up on us," he told me.  
  
Tears were in my eyes, "Well, you need to. Because I am," I whispered, and with that I turned around and started walking toward the airport.  
  
**********  
  
Li ran his hand through his hair and slammed the front door shut. "Damn that girl," he muttered under his breath. A pair of skinny arms wrapped around his neck from behind Li, "Having a little problem?" Han asked, pressing her lips against his ear. She bit his earlobe playfully. "Do you need a little cheering up?" she purred into Li's ear. "Because I've got just the thing you need," she whispered. Tears were in Li's eyes, even if he would never admit it. He turned around quickly, pinning Han up against the wall and taking her lips into his.  
  
Sakura  
  
I blinked my eyes four times before I realized where I was. I was in Tori's car, heading toward my house. I had no idea if I had actually seen something from Hong Kong or if I had dreamt it up, but I was praying that I had been dreaming. A single tear ran down my left cheek before I wiped it away so Tori wouldn't see. I knew Li and I knew that what I had done to him had hurt, but I just couldn't imagine him move on so quickly. It just didn't seem possible. I truly cared about Li, and even though I thought I felt my love for him start to slip away, I still needed him.  
  
But wasn't that why I had dumped him? I asked myself. Because he was getting married and it was only a matter of time until Li and Han started caring about each other. Even as I thought about it, I just willed myself to be wrong. I didn't think I would be able to handle it if Li started a relationship so soon with Han, but then again, I couldn't really blame him if he did because I was the one who had called it off with him.  
  
"Hey, Monster, you all right back there?" Tori asked me, glancing at my face from his rearview mirror. "You seem a little quite back there. Is there anything you want to talk to me about before we get home and you are hounded by Dad for explanations?"  
  
I stared down at the jacket in my lap. I didn't remember talking it off or even getting off the plane and into Tori's home. All I remembered was the horrible image of Li pressing his fiancé up against the wall. "I don't know what's wrong with me," I began. "I left Hong Kong because I was upset with Li and I broke up with him. He's getting married, for Christ's sake. And I just know by the time the new year rolls in, he will have screwed her more times than he did me. But I just can't get it out of my head that I still need him."  
  
"What do you mean, more times than you? You and Li only had sex once, right?" Tori asked. When all I did to reply was stare straight ahead of me into nothingness, Tori gripped the steering wheel tighter and slammed on the brakes, pulling up into the driveway. He spun around in his seat, "I'm just worried about you, Sakura. I don't even feel that I recognize you anymore. You slept with a guy you've only been going out with for a few months and then you fly to Hong Kong to see him, only to get on a plane the same day, flying back home, but only after breaking up with him. What's gotten into you lately? It's like you're not my sister anymore."  
  
I sighed and leaned back, pulling my legs up to my chest and hugging my arms around them. Tears wanted to fall, but I was just too tired that they couldn't. "I just can't take him anymore, I guess. I left because he has another girl in that house now - one that will still be there after next week. One that he's going to spend the rest of his life with whether he likes it or not. And I can't just stay here and watch him be with someone else, while I'm at home waiting for him to return. I don't want to be a reject. I know I slept with him to make sure he returned to Reedington, but know that he's gone and the deed is done, I really wish I hadn't done it after all. No guy is worth all this, not even Li. As much as I would like to think he is, he isn't. So I'm going to try to move on and find someone else who can be here for me. Someone I'm not going to screw up with and someone I won't sleep with," I sighed and lifted my head slowly, looking up at my brother who had always been there for me, no matter what. "Tori, I'm so sorry about telling Dad that you were gay. I was just so messed up with everything happening, and it just slipped, it truly did. And I'm not saying that you should forgive me or anything, I'm just saying that I'm so sorry if Dad didn't take it well. You know I love you."  
  
Tori smiled, "Of course I know that, Squirt. And of course Dad didn't take it well. Since you've been gone, I've had to go through list after list of all the guys I've ever know and tell Dad whether or not they were just friends or you know, something more than that." I sighed and shook my head, "I'm deeply sorry. But now I need to go face him myself, so your news won't look so bad after I'm done. Although I have no idea what exactly I'm going to tell him. 'Oh yes, I just broke up with the guy I had sex with because he's getting married and he's most likely already had sex with her now too.' I think that's how I'm going to start our beloved conversation." Tori laughed softly and I smiled, rolling my eyes. Then I stepped out of the car and slammed the door shut, grabbing my duffel bag from Tori. "Time to face my worse fear - Dad and the whore."  
  
++++++++++  
  
READ BELOW PLEASE!  
  
A little note from me here at the end. I'm hoping to post the prequel to this fan-fic when I finish this one, but first I'm going to finish the Harry Potter, the Dragon Ball Z, and the other Cardcaptors Sakura fics I've already started. Make sure you check out my author's page. I keep updates there and previews for upcoming chapters and fics. I've also finally got my Yahoo group back up. It is located at http://groups.yahoo.com/group/antidarthani. There, you will find links to all my fan-fic, a mailing list so you know when the stories are updated and added, and chances for sneak previews before anyone else! Sign up today, it takes only a minute and it helps me keep track of how many people are reading my fan-fics. I'd really appreciate it if you have a spare second. 


	4. What You Do That Hurts Me So

Winter Loverland  
  
Chapter 4 What You Do That Hurts Me So  
  
Got a stupid fly in my room and I can't kill it and it keeps flying it my ear with a freaky buzzing sound. Not to mention that it's trying to hurt me. So what if I'm trying to kill it? Please review with suggestions and comments and any grammatical errors you might find. And thanks to all my wonderful, wonderful readers and reviewers that have stuck with me this far. I love you all lots! And now on to the chapter!  
  
**********  
  
Sakura  
  
"Daddy, please don't be mad. I know that it's hard for you to understand why I would do something as stupid and crazy at this, but it's not like he's four or something. I mean, that's how big of an age gap you and Kari have. Li and I are the same age." I had been arguing with him for ages and he still didn't understand. As soon as I had stepped one foot in the front door, he had yanked me by the arm into his study and slammed the door shut. We had been arguing, yelling even, for an hour almost. My voice was becoming hoarse and I was about to give up the fight, just so I could have a nice, tall glass of water and go flop down on my bed, to hibernate like a bear until school started again.  
  
"I don't want to argue about this anymore," I started to explain. "I'm tired and tired of trying to explain it all to you. It's water under the bridge, so just let it go. I know you're disappointed in me. I was your only daughter and I let you down by having sex before I was married. Well, you're going to have to deal with it, because I'm having to deal with it. And every time someone brings Him up, I just keep thinking that I might have made a mistake dumping him and coming back. Maybe, if it would make you feel better, I'll fly back and we'll elope and then run off to a foreign country, never to be seen or heard from again."  
  
"What would make me feel better," my father told me, glaring at me from behind his desk, where he had started standing only a few minutes ago, "would be for you to just give up on the bastard and never date another boy again."  
  
I hated the way my father and Tori called Li names. But after a while, I couldn't stand up for him anymore. I wasn't strong enough to side with him after all he'd done to me. I decided then and there, as I walked out of my father's study during the middle of an important lecture he was giving me, that I wouldn't be held down by Li any longer. I was going to get out and find myself someone else - someone who would actually care about me. Someone who wouldn't shove another girl up against the wall and start groping her.  
  
Madison  
  
I looked over the candle to see Eli's face, staring back at me. I wanted to blush madly, but at the same time, I was so proud and happy, that I didn't care anymore. Ever since I had kissed him, I knew I wouldn't be able to just hide away from him. He was going to follow after me, and after the night I was having with him, I didn't mind one bit.  
  
Eli ran his hand across the tablecloth until it reached mine. He wrapped his fingers around mine and studied my hand with his eyes carefully. His index finger ran up and down the knuckles of each of my finger, before he leaned slightly across the table and gave my hand a satisfied kiss. I blushed softly, but smiled when he wrapped his fingers around mine and didn't let go. That was the way things were supposed to be between us. No consent arguing or bickering, just sitting at a table lit by candles and holding each other hands. So what if things didn't work out right away? I finally had what I wanted and I'd be damned if I let anything take him away.  
  
The waiter walked over to our table, a formal tuxedo on. "May I ask what the two of you will be having for the evening?"  
  
I smiled and ordered lobster. Then the waiter turned to Eli and he ordered something in French that I didn't understand. When the waiter had left us, I looked up across the table to face Eli. "I didn't know you spoke French."  
  
Eli smiled at me, "I lived there for a few years before I lived in England. It's such a beautiful language, isn't it?" he asked me.  
  
I nodded, "It is very romantic," I added. "By the way, what did you order?" I asked him. Eli smiled, but I could tell that he had started to blush. "I actually don't know. I didn't learn much French. I learned mostly how to pronounce the words, but that was about all I could manage." I laughed softly and smiled at Eli. It was great to be eating with him, on an official date. I loved the way his hand felt in mine and I loved where he had brought me for dinner. By the time we had sat down, the sun had already begun to set on the horizon. The sky was multi shaded of pink and purple and an occasional red. I absolutely loved it.  
  
Li  
  
I watched Sakura walk out of my house. It seemed as if everything had slowed to a frame by frame movement, like an extremely important part of a movie. And in a way, that moment could possibly be called just that. Sakura was telling me that she was leaving me and going back to Hong Kong and she didn't want to be with me anymore. That was very important indeed, and I couldn't do anything but stand in the doorway, the door wide open, praying that she would suddenly, as if by miracle, turn around and walk back up to me and say that she never meant it.  
  
But after ten minutes of just standing there, I turned around and Han was standing there. She smiled at me sweetly enough. Almost as if she really cared about what happened to Sakura. And the truth was that she did. She wanted Sakura out of my life and as far away from me as Sakura could get. Well, I was sure she would be happy. Because that was where Sakura was. Kari put a little sexy pout on her lips and stepped up close to me, "Li, you really don't have to worry. I promise I won't hurt you like she hurt you. I'll be right here to comfort you the whole time. And maybe," she purred, "you can give me a little comfort back."  
  
I quickly slammed Han against the wall, "Stay away from me, or else you're going to find yourself in a very uncomfortable position that you won't want to be in."  
  
"Well, Li, I want to be in it if it's under you," she murmured, trying to bite my earlobe. I hissed softly under my breath and slammed her against the wall again before letting her fall like a puddle on the floor. "Stay away from me, got it?"  
  
**********  
  
I sat up quickly in my bed. Sweat was rolling down my face and my shirt was so wet that it stuck to my chest. I peeled it off of my skin and threw it off to the side of the room. I was breathing heavily and I wasn't quite sure why. It wasn't like a nightmare. I was just recalling what had happened earlier. I wasn't sure why, but something just didn't seem right about it. Something seemed off, almost as if someone was in my memory with me and knew what I had been thinking.  
  
But that's not possible, I told myself. I slid back against the pillow. I was just overreacting. Nothing had changed since Sakura left and I was afraid that nothing would. I was beginning to finally realize just how much she really meant to me. It wasn't about sex or making out, it was about how she made me feel. I couldn't remember what it felt like to be with her, but I was feeling what it was like without her and I didn't like it. Not one bit. I sighed and slipped out of the bed. Now that my mind had been fixed on Sakura, it wasn't going to be possible for me to fall back asleep. That was one of the few things that annoyed me about Sakura. Once she got into your head, she never left.  
  
As I made my way through the house, which was very dark except for the short rays of moonlight that entered through the windows and left long shadows on furniture on the walls. Once I had made it through the house, I ended up in the kitchen. All the servers and maids were off duty until five in the morning. The best time to eat, because I would be able to eat in peace and fix my own food. I loved my house and all the people who worked for our family, but sometimes I just wanted to be able to fix my own meal in peace, without people rushing up to me and offering me food or drinks. I wanted to be able to make a large, ham sandwich with all the fatty condiments that my mother never let the cooks put on our meals.  
  
That was one of the reasons I loved it in Reedington. The freedom to be myself and be on my own. The privacy in my own apartment was the best of it all. I was in charge of cleaning all of my own clothes and if I didn't want to make the bed in the morning, then it would still be unmade in the afternoon when I got home from school. Although, I had to admit, it did get lonely without anyone being there. But Sakura always made up for that.  
  
God, Sakura. I just couldn't stop thinking about her no matter how hard I tried. I had wanted to really, truly cry when she had left. I couldn't even remember the last time I had wanted to cry. But I still couldn't. And I was so stupid. I could have ran after her and prevented her for leaving, but I just watched her walk out of my life, life a complete idiot.  
  
I opened the refrigerator door and pulled out the ham, the turkey, the cheese, mayonnaise, mustard, pickle relish, lettuce, and tomatoes. I picked out two slices of bread of the bread box and then reached to get a plate out of the cupboard. I made my sandwich, listening to the silence of the house and loving it.  
  
As I sat down at the kitchen counter, I thought I heard a slight brushing noise, a sound of movement, coming from the direction of the living room, but I just shook my head and told myself to chill out and stop being paranoid. I continued eating, but I heard the same noise again only a few minutes later. I quickly finished off my sandwich. Getting up from the counter without making a sound, I quietly put my plate into the sink and tip toed to the doorway. I hid to the right of it, and slowly peered out around the frame. I moved my head only a microsecond before a baseball bat was sung into the room.  
  
Reacting as quickly as I could, I grabbed the baseball bat and grabbed at the person who had swung it at me. The person tried to scream, but I quickly covered the person's mouth with my hand. I yanked the person closer to me as they dropped the bat to the kitchen floor, making a loud clattering against the tile. I ran my hand up and down the wall until I found the light switch and turned it on.  
  
A female in a white, short nightdress was being held in my arms. I looked down at the black, wavy hair and soft, light blue eyes. I quickly pushed her away and released her mouth. "What the hell were you thinking, Han?" I snapped, leaning against the counter. Her face was a pale white color, "I was thinking that a robber had made his way into the house and that I needed to stop him! What the hell are you doing, Li? It's three in the morning and you're hiding away in the kitchen! You deserved to be whacked over the head with a baseball bat if it'll knock some sense into you!"  
  
'She sounds just like Sakura when she's angry', was the first thought that entered my head. I took a deep breath. I had to face the facts. I couldn't escape from Sakura, even if she fell off the edge of the world. I loved her, and everything reminded me of her. "Just go back to sleep, Han. And try not to hurt anyone in the morning." Han glared at me in shock and embarrassment as I left the kitchen and walked to bedroom, thinking only of how I wanted to get away from my house and just talk to Sakura.  
  
Sakura  
  
"I'm so sorry, but what did you say was your name again?" I asked, sipping my vanilla milkshake through the straw.  
  
"It's Robert," the boy sitting across the booth from me replied. "Are you ok, Sakura, or should I take you home? I'd hate for you to get sick on our first date."  
  
I almost choked when he said the word date. But, after all I reasoned, it was a date. He had asked me out for milkshakes and I had said yes. The whole thing was stupid really, but that didn't stop me from feeling sick in the stomach. As I looked at Robert, I couldn't help but picturing Li sitting across from me. But then again, Li had never sat across from me. He had always sat next to me. And that was great, but I was going out with Robert to forget about Li and push the last few months to the back of my mind. Unfortunately, it wasn't working out too well.  
  
"Do you want to go dancing?" he asked me out of the blue. I almost gagged. Dancing, with Robert? I had met him at a local coffee shop and we had talked for almost an hour when he had asked me out. It hadn't seemed like such a bad idea at the time, but now that I was actually there, I might have changed my mind. Not that there was anything wrong with Robert. No, it was more like there wasn't anything right about Robert. But I couldn't have such high standards. After all, it was winter break, and all the smart people were off somewhere doing something. I was stuck in Reedington, trying to get away from people. At that time of year, it wasn't too hard.  
  
"I don't think that dancing's such a good idea. I'm afraid I was one of those very unfortunate people who were born with two left feet. And none of them like to dance, either," I answered, finishing off my milkshake. By then, I was about ready to run out the place and never look back, forgetting all about that horrible night with Robert. Things weren't exactly going the way I had hoped they would. That's to say the least.  
  
"Well, at least you were born with feet, unlike some people on this planet. So why don't you bring those two left feet along with me and I'll teach them how to dance?" Robert asked, who had finished off his milkshake quite a while ago.  
  
He can't seriously be talking about my feet like they're people, I thought. I was beginning to be disguised by Robert. My problem was that I always saw the worst of people, and for Robert, that was quite a lot. I hated to be so mean to him, but he was driving me bonkers! "Robert, thanks so much for the milkshake, but I'm afraid I'm going to have to leave now. I've got family obligations to get to and my father will kill me if I'm not home in time. But this was fun," I lied through my teeth. I had never been such a great liar and it was even harder for me to lie when I was nervous.  
  
I made to get up and leave the little shop, but Robert reached across the table and took a hold of my hand. "This was really great, Sakura. I haven't met someone like you in such a long time," he told me. I almost laugh. You mean, someone so eager to get away from you? I thought to myself. "I want to go out with you again, if you have anytime away from your family obligations, whatever they are. Would you mind giving me your phone number so that I can call you and ask you out on another date?"  
  
Oh crap, I thought. He wanted my number. What could I say? I sure as hell wasn't going to give it to him. Not after the way our first date had gone. "Our phone isn't working right now," I fibbed, hoping he would buy it, "My father's a little behind on paying the bills."  
  
"OK, well, how about your address so that I can come visit you and maybe met your parents?" Robert tried again, but he had loosened the grip on my hand. Big mistake for him.  
  
I shot out of the booth, "That isn't a good idea. Maybe I'll see you around sometime," I said and ran out the front doors, pushing them open and escaping into the cold, winter night. As I hurried down the sidewalk, I watched my breath, little white clouds in the dark night. It was somewhat comforting, and peaceful. I didn't know how I was ever going to be able to find myself a boyfriend if I couldn't even make it through the first date. Dating was harder than I had ever thought. With Li, I had never had to decide I liked him, it had just happened. I scolded myself as I turned down the street that my house was located on. I had to stop thinking about Li. No matter what. Because Li and I were over.  
  
**********  
  
"Where have you been?" my father snapped when I walked in the front door, taking off my scarf and coat and hanging them on the coat rack. "I've been out," I answered simply, kicking off my boats and taking the stairs two at a time. I walked down the hallway to Tori's room. I knocked once, as if I was going to be polite, and then I opened it wide open.  
  
"AHHH!" I yelled and covered my eyes. "Oh fuck!" I said as I peeked through my fingers and then shut them back over my eyes again. "Gross, gross, gross!" I yelled.  
  
Tori sat up in his bed and glared at me, in shock, "Sakura, what the hell do you think you're doing? Haven't you ever heard of knocking and then waiting for a response?" he snapped.  
  
"Well, if I had know that you were screwing around, believe you me, I would never have even knocked. I wouldn't even have bothered wanting to talk to you. You've scarred me for life! I'll never be able to look you in the face again without seeing this image in my head-" I froze and then gasped, taking my hands off of my face. "That a female," I stated, dumbfounded.  
  
Tori sighed and nodded and pulled his boxers and a white undershirt on. He got out of the bed and pulled me out of his room. The whole time, I had my face back to his bed, looking at who was still in it. Once we were back out in the hall, Tori shut the door. "Dad's home, you know," I hissed to him. "If he finds out that you're sleeping with our soon to be mother, he's going to kill you."  
  
"Well, you have to admit that it makes more sense for me to sleep with her. After all, she is younger than I am," Tori told me, as if it mattered.  
  
"Tori," I snapped, "you're gay! You shouldn't be sleeping with Kari either. No one in this household should be sleeping with her. She shouldn't be here!" I stared at my brother's face. "It's just too much, you know? This whole fucking ordeal is too much. I can't handle this anymore. I've got to talk to someone. I'm going insane and before anyone knows it, they'll have me locked up in a padded, white room in a straight jacket! You and Dad and Kari are ALL messed up in the head. This is not a normal family! I not belong to this family!"  
  
"Sakura, it's not like you've made things any better for anyone!" Tori yelled back.  
  
"Oh, ok! I see what you're saying. You're saying that you're sleeping with Dad's fiancé because I slept with Li. Yes, Tori, that makes totally sense to me. You're even more messed up than I thought you were! That Kari person needs to get out of this household before she drives us all crazy! And you wanna know something, Tori? I'm about ready to kill myself, but not after I kill the three of you! If Mom was here, none of this would be happening. Dad wouldn't be getting married, you wouldn't be saying that you're gay, but sleeping with females, and the whole mess with Li wouldn't have happened because I would never have become a Cardcaptor in the first place!  
  
"I'm tired of having to put up with this family. Since Mom's died, we've all been falling apart, but it's never been this bad before. And I'm to a point where I just can't take it anymore! So I'm going to go spend the night at Madison's!"  
  
"Sakura," Tori reasoned, "you can't always run away from your problems. This isn't going to change and you going to Madison's is only going to slow things down from changing. Besides, you know as well as I do that Dad and I aren't going to change our ways. You've got to learn to handle this," he told me.  
  
"I can't!" I yelled. "I can't, I can't, I CAN NOT!" I screamed as loud as I could. I stormed down the hall, back to my room. I opened the door and slammed it shut behind me. I heard parts of wood split and I laughed evilly. I yanked out my duffel bag and stuffed random clothes into it. I zipped it shut and raced down to stairs. I had to get out of my house. The walls were closing in around me. I was going to suffocate if I didn't escape from there. I managed to get out of the front door. The snow was falling hard and the yard was covered in a thin blanket of white. I started walking across it, but halfway across, my head started to swirl and a pain in the back of my head made me pause for a moment. And without the movement of my body, I froze up. It became hard for me to breath. I tried to yell out to my dad, to Tori, to anyone who would be able to hear me. But all that escaped my lips was a soft gasped as my eyes rolled to the back of my head and I collapsed to the ground. 


	5. What Can We Do To Forget?

Winter Loverland  
  
Chapter 5 What Can We Do To Forget  
  
Oh yeah! Chapter five! I can't believe I'm already here! Sorry about the little cliffhanger! I wanted this part to be a surprise. Thanks to all my beloved fans who have reviewed. Please join my little fan club/mailing list! It would mean so much to me! Now enough chatter! On to the chapter!  
  
Li  
  
I hated myself at that time. I wanted to climb to the top of a high building and just jump off. I was going crazy. Sakura was screwing with my head, even if she wasn't there. I didn't know why I did what I did, and to this day I still don't. But within twenty minutes of that feeling, I had been packing and heading toward the airport. I didn't even know if it was Sakura who I was feeling, but the pain had consumed me. And so, being the irrational person I was, I decided to fly to Reedington to see if she was ok. Because who did I think I was kidding? I couldn't just forget Sakura. She was like a part of me. A part of me I needed to survive. And when I felt the pain that could have belonged to her, I almost puked.  
  
But once the plane had landed in Reedington, I had automatically begun to second guess myself. Maybe it wasn't such a good idea. Maybe I was being stupid. After all, she had broken up with me. But then, it didn't really matter to me. Nothing mattered to me except for Sakura.  
  
I slung my one carry on bag over my shoulder and exited the small, little airport. Snow was dumping down from the sky, and it was hard to see. I decided against taking a taxi. It was only a few blocks to Sakura's house. That was another thing I loved about Reedington. Nothing was too far away from anything else. I made it to Sakura's house in less than fifteen minutes.  
  
But once I arrived, my heart dropped to the very bottom of my stomach. Because four police cars and an ambulance were parked outside Sakura's house. At first, I told myself that I didn't remember which house was Sakura's. But once I saw Tori and Sakura's father standing on the front porch, talking to a police man, I had to rule that out. I walked slowly up the driveway, toward Tori and Mr. Avalon. I knew from the start that I wasn't going to be exactly welcomed, especially if Sakura had told them that we had slept together.  
  
I cleared my throat and set my bag down on the ground. Tori didn't do anything except stare at me. "What the hell are you doing here, Li?" Tori shouted as soon as he had stared at me long enough. "I bet you anything he had something to do with this," he told the cop. The police officer turned to face me and flipped over to a cleaned piece of paper in his miniature notebook. "What's your name, son?" he asked me, his pen ready to right down anything I said. "My name's Li Showron. Now would anyone care to explain to me what's happening?" I asked.  
  
Tori got up in my face, "She doesn't want anything to do with you anymore, Li. So why don't you just take yourself and that bag back to Hong Kong and sleep with your wife?" Tori hissed.  
  
"Because," I said, trying to act as cool as I could, which was hard, seeing as how I still didn't know what had happened to Sakura, "I'm not getting married. I called the wedding off. Now, will you please tell me what happened to her?" I snapped, giving him my evil glare that made birds drop from the sky.  
  
"We don't know," Tori said simply. "We were inside and we heard a scream. It was from the neighbor. When we got outside, Sakura was laying out of the lawn, knocked stone cold."  
  
I sighed and rubbed my eyes with my hands. It was all too much. It didn't even seem real anymore. "Can I please just see her?" I asked.  
  
The police officer pointed to the ambulance, "She's in there, kid. But don't go too far, you're still a suspect."  
  
I sighed and walked toward the ambulance. The police force in Reedington was very weak. How were they going to pin this on me when I was in Hong Kong? I didn't know, but with Tori's pressure, I knew they would find some kind of theory that involved me. Maybe my sperm is deadly, I thought to myself, which made me smirk.  
  
When I reached the ambulance, I had to push other people aside. I looked at Sakura, laying on a stretcher, eyes closed. She was cold and clammy, but she almost looked peaceful. I sighed and kneeled down beside the stretcher. Slowly, I took her hands in mine. The paramedics stepped back, curious as to what I was going to do. I kissed Sakura's fingertips. "I'm here for you, Sakura," I whispered softly, so that no one would hear. "Just show me what happened to you," I murmured, letting go of her hands with one of my hands, to place two fingers on her forehead. I just rested them there for a moment. After nothing happened, I pressed a little.  
  
Sakura's eyes flew open, but I could tell that no one was home. Then her whole body started convulsing. I held her head still with my two fingers and pressed against her stomach with my other hand to keep her from hurting herself anymore. Sakura let out a gargling noise and then a high pitched scream. At that point, the paramedics started to push me aside. "Get the fuck away!" I snapped, "I'm helping her," I tried to explain. They didn't seem happy, but they stepped back again. Her movements became harder and more rapid. "Calm down, Sakura," I whispered to her.  
  
I pressed my forehead against her, and used the hand that had been there to pin down her hands. I closed my eyes and concentrated as hard at I could. "Stop," she muttered softly. She began jerking against my grasp, still knocked out cold. Then a gagging stop came from deep within her throat. "Help," she managed to gasped. "I'm drowning! Somebody help!" she yelled before her eyes shot open again. I stared back into her eyes, my forehead still against hers. I saw a flicker of recognition in her eyes before they closed again. Her whole body went still and the odd noises stopped. I quickly pinched her nose and opened her mouth, which I then covered with my own and breathed into her, praying that she would get the air.  
  
After that, I just stood back and waited for something to happen. Only a few seconds later, Sakura jerked straight up into a sitting position and started coughing. Water came flying out of her mouth. Tori and Sakura's father went rushing over to her as I slowly walked away. I didn't need to be there for her anymore. She was ok, and that was what I had flown back to make sure of. Once I knew that she was ok, I could go home. But I wasn't going home. Not exactly. I was going back to my apartment. I didn't want to go back home. I didn't ever want to see Han again and I wouldn't mind not seeing my mother again for quite some time.  
  
Sakura  
  
I took deep breaths as Tori squeezed me in a tight hug. "Don't you ever scare us like this again, Monster," he cried. My father held me next, "Do you realize how much trouble you've caused?" he asked me. Well, it was good to know he cared about me. I sighed and looked at a retreating form walking down the street slowly, a duffel bag thrown over his shoulder. Oh God, I thought, it's Li.  
  
I swung my legs over the side of the stretcher and stood up. My legs were numb, but I had to go after him. He was here, in Reedington, and I couldn't just let him leave. I pushed off of the stretcher and started walking after Li. Once I regained my balance, I started running. I reached him in fifty seconds. I reached for his shoulder. He spun around quickly and I lost my balance, "Oh God," I muttered. I took a hold of both his shoulders and managed to stay on my feet.  
  
Li just stared at me. He didn't say a word - not one sound. And before he could, I yanked his head to mine and kissed him hungrily. He took a second to react, but once he realized what was happening, he kissed me back, pulling me up against him. My legs began to wobble and I leaned completely against him. Li wasn't ready for that kind of weight, and after we both cried 'Oh shit', we dropped into the snow. Lucky for us, it had been snowing for hours and the snow was about four inches thick, breaking our falling instead of our bodies.  
  
Li laughed, laying in the snow next to me. He actually laughed. At first I thought I was just hearing things, but Li was really laughing. He rolled over and pressed his hands down into the snow on both sides of my waist. He towered over me and smiled, "Hey, Sakura," he said softly.  
  
"Hey yourself," I replied, pulling him down on top of me. I sank further into the snow as Li started to kiss me again. I wrapped my legs around his and wrapped my arms around his neck, playing with the short hairs on the back of his neck. I moaned into his mouth, feeling a hot surge shoot from my chest to my legs. My tongue pressed against his and I squeezed my eyes shut even harder. Nothing could have been better.  
  
Li pulled away from me and I gasped for air. I hated having to have air to breathe. "Feeling any better?" Li asked me breathlessly. I nodded, my chest heaving, "Much better, actually. What are you doing in Reedington? Don't you have a wedding to get to?" I asked him, bad memories filling my brain again.  
  
Li shook he head as he once again slid into the snow next to me, "I called it off. I figured, my mother would never allow me not to get married, but she can't have a wedding unless I'm there. And I don't have to go back to Hong Kong."  
  
I sighed and sat up in the snow, "I can forgive you for the whole wedding mess because it wasn't your fault, but I can't forgive you for what you did with Han." I wanted to cry again.  
  
Li sat up as well, "What did I do to Han?" he asked, as if he didn't know.  
  
"Don't play dumb with me, Li. I'm not stupid. I saw you and Han. You had her up against a wall and you were kissing her. And I'm sure you slept with her after that," I snapped.  
  
Li shook his head, "Sakura, you don't know what you're talking about. I never laid a finger on Han. And I never will. I won't ever lay a finger on another girl, because I love you Sakura, and only you."  
  
"Stop!" I yelled. "Just stop! I saw you Li."  
  
"You weren't there, Sakura, so you couldn't have seen anything! I watched you leave. And I waited for you to turn around and come back, but you didn't. You had to have dreamt it up, because that never happened. Don't you believe me?" I asked.  
  
I stared into Li's eyes and saw something I had never seen in his eyes before. Warmth. I nodded and brought his head extremely close to mine, "Yeah, I guess," I whispered, "I believe you." And with that I brought Li's mouth back to mine.  
  
**********  
  
That's the ending. This was a pretty short fan-fic for me, but I liked it. Please review. I'll get to the prequel when I've got time. I'm thinking of a good CSI fan-fic to write right now and I still have three other fan-fics in the freezer. The next one due to be finished is At World's End. Watch my little fan-fiction site for previews. URL in my profile. 


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